passion vs joy
After the life altering events of the last few weeks, it seems like it’s time to get back to work. For most of March, I’ve had my head down and my heart armor-wrapped, with a determination to be strong and 'soldier through', my virus ridden body protesting loudly … but it’s time to look up, reengage, start moving my limbs and draw my shoulders back, breath deeper, quiet my agitated mind and get my body healed.
To begin, this morning I did a brief meditation while sounding my root chakra singing bowl, followed by drawing cards from my Ascended Masters oracle card deck. My question was where to begin? I love these cards for their simple and direct messages … drink more water, purification, clear and shield your energy, open your heart to love, yes and lastly, power of joy. Where to begin … cleanse my body and mind, flush toxins and take care of myself first. But over all, begin with joy. No way to mistake the message as I drew that card twice!
It’s time to begin exploring my New Normal. As a maker, it can be easy for the most crucial and heart felt motivations to get lost in the shuffle of bottom lines and marketing and social media and the yadda yadda yadda of everyday. Adding to the confusion, my business was already in major flux and any wave of momentum I had gathered came to a fast thud, like plowing into a wall of sand.
Since returning home, I’ve mostly been sleeping and reading, drinking loads of tea and wondering aimlessly around my home and studio. I wanted to be back to work, but have had no drive or inspiration. I know, I know … grief can be all encompassing, but it’s even worse when my hands are still. But, as of right now, while my grieving continues and will for the foreseeable future, I’m actually beginning to feel the first tickle of an urge to get back to making … the question is what do I want to make? That’s when the “bottom line” gremlin comes poking …
… and why I’m glad I had the presence of mind this morning to stop for my brief, but invaluable, meditation and card reading followed by a gentle yoga class.
In my addled state, I had been looking for a project that would light a fire, cause a stir, over flow with passion and emotion. But passion is a tricky one for me. I can get flat stalled out probing around for passion. Passion feels loaded, energetic and driven. But joy ... drawing that card was such a relief, a beautiful ahhhhhh, YES … joy feels like ease and relaxing deep breaths, wide smiles and giggles. Nothing wrong with passion, but for now, I prefer the comfort and simplicity of joy. Still not sure where I’ll start or what my first project will be, but it will be grounded in the simple pleasure of using my hands … pulling weeds, planting some herbs, stitching a pouch, stringing a few beads … doesn’t matter what as long as it makes me smile and eases my grieving heart just a wee bit.
How about you? Where do you start ... passion or joy?
with love and light filled blessings ...