Giving … really truly giving (+ a surprise at the end)

give freely meme kathy van kleeck.jpg

Why is that so hard?  What makes giving away anything so gut wrenching and fraught with emotions?  As I was meditating on this question this morning, I could feel my stomach clench.  That’s just crazy!

I started thinking about the spirit of giving last week.  I had purchased some presents, not for any occasion, just nice things I wanted to share.  Then I had the opportunity to visit the home of the soon to be recipients and noticed there were a lot of similar things around the house.  Returning home, I began to doubt my gifts.  Did I really need to send them more ‘stuff’ … would it make any difference if I sent the gifts, they already have similar things … would my little gifts mean anything … would they just be added to the existing collections and be forgotten?  I came full stop, swimming in doubt and confusion.

For the next few days I continued to explore my doubts … what if I hadn’t visited their home, how can I know what will be appreciated … but most importantly, what was my motivation in the first place? 

Then I came back ‘round full circle … the items were purchased as GIFTS!  In the true spirit of giving, start with love ... my only motivation should be to share that love, no caveats, no need for pats on the back or oohs and ahhs and aren’t I just so clever for finding something so perfect … nope, to truly give a gift, none of that should come into play.

So I sent off the gifts … with tracking.  Well, I did want to make sure the box arrived … that’s another spot with some wiggle room.  Anyway, now I know the box has arrived and I’m still struggling to really let it go … let it truly be a gift without any expectations.  Color me surprised.  So let’s just say, it’s a process requiring lots of deep breaths … let it go, let it go, let it go.

Another ongoing struggle is whether to give money to all those folks on the street corners.  Mostly, I just don’t know what to do and I’m rarely moved to pull out my wallet.  Once I start, how do I choose when or when not to give?  The answer for me came years ago when a friend suggested to give a prayer and visualize holding them in a place of love and light.  I figure everyone can use a heartfelt prayer.  It's still a struggle and sometimes I do pull out the wallet.

So now I come back to my original question, why is giving so hard?  Where did that conditioning come from?  With all the opportunities for giving, birthdays and holidays and charities and street people … what about giving to ourselves?  Does a gift have to be justified, deserved, needed or perfect?  No, absolutely not!  It just has to come from a place of love.

I’m pretty sure that, for me, part of it is that fear of not enough, that nasty sense of lack.  Then there’s those niggling feelings of being less than, subpar, how could I possibly know what’s best or good or appropriate?  All of which is nothing but a bunch of hooey, a total load of horse hockey and flat out wrong wrong wrong!

The way I'm working on seeing it, the only requirement is that whatever the gift, it is given freely, from a place of love and the joy of sharing and especially, free of expectations.  But like I was saying … it’s a process and there’s always room for improvement!

All of this pondering about gifting got me to thinking about what would be a nice thing to share with all of you?  Then yesterday, as I was adding the carrier oil to a fresh batch of one of my new perfumes and then measuring out another batch of the same, I thought, “here is what I can share!” 

So, in the spirit of giving freely from a place of love, I’m offering a free 1 ml vial of my new “Awakening” Intuitive Perfume Oil.  I have 30 vials available.  Be sure to add the coupon code FREESHIPPING at checkout so your free Intuitive Perfume vial really is free. 

And just to share a bit more love, I’m offering free shipping on everything in my shop through April 15th.  So don’t forget to add the coupon code FREESHIPPING at checkout.  Of course, if you do happen to forget to add the code, don’t worry, I’ll refund the shipping charge right away. 

Just to wrap up and what I know right now … start with love and give freely, no caveats and always without expectations or agendas … it’s a glorious thing to do!

I seem to be on a bit of a roll and have been gathering themes and messages from my free writing sessions.  I'm hoping to turn these ruminations into a weekly practice that I plan to share each Tuesday ... so stay tuned!

With mountains of love and a torrent of light filled blessings …