structure :: rhythm :: pattern
Do you ever have words pop into your head … you know, stream of consciousness stuff or word associations or just mysterious inspirations? Yep, me too.
This morning as I was power walking around the neighborhood, I picked up this beautiful feather. Moments later, these words popped into my head:
structure :: rhythm :: pattern
At first thought, ‘structure’ hit me as kind of odd and I kind of seized up thinking about it. I was associating structure with rigid. But then came ‘rhythm’ and I eased up a bit. Structure becomes form, form flows with a rhythm and within that rhythm lies a ‘pattern’ … I thought of all kinds of structure, on a cellular level, the structure of any man-made creation, the Transamerica building popped into my head … a structure designed to move and flow with seismic activity.
But then I came back to my own world and, of late, the lack of structure, rhythm or pattern to my days, weeks and months. I’ve been adrift and can’t seem to settle down into any kind of rhythm, my days have no structure and there’s no pattern or flow to my work.
I’m not looking for a rigid structure, or to adhere to a well-defined schedule … time flexibility is kind of a big part of being self-employed … but I would dearly love to settle into some kind of pattern … something that grabs me and leaves no question about following through … committing. The visual I’m getting is a tattered flag, flapping and erratic in strong winds, being shredded by the elements. Wow, as I type that, I feel a tingle pulsing through my limbs … wow.
Thing is, this is the second time this week that words have popped into my head and made me come full stop. Over the weekend, I was wandering around the house, trying to see if anything piqued my curiosity or felt like inspiration. Somewhere along the way came a thrumming in my head of “indigo indigo indigo indigo indigo indigo indigo” … over and over and over.
So on Monday, I went on kind of an indigo tear … I planted more indigo seeds at my garden plot and posted indigo related pics and stories to Facebook - growing and indigo and natural dye related forums, I wrote emails to the University of Florida agricultural site, IFAS, and to the indigo person at Kingsley Plantation in Jacksonville …. indigo indigo indigo indigo … I finished decanting my latest batch of indigo paste for dyeing …
… and today, I have a pot of henna on the stove simmering and getting ready to start my first indigo vat using my own homegrown indigo … indigo indigo indigo indigo indigo ... and the icing on the cake, I just found out this afternoon that my indigo contact person at the Kingsley Plantation Historic site on Amelia Island is going to be doing a presentation and training a ranger from the Charles Pinckney Historic site on their indigo program and invited me to join in the conversation … and we were already planning to be on Amelia Island this weekend! Okay, so it’s our anniversary trip and Dave may not want to spend all day listening to me yammer on about indigo, but I bet he’ll be okay for at least a little while.
indigo indigo indigo indigo indigo … phew!
If you’re wondering where this is all going … well join the club. I have not one bloody clue. For now, the only thing I can see to do is follow Tosha Silver’s advice and hand it over to Spirit/God/the Universe … and repeat this prayer from her new book multiple times a day, “… Open me to whatever I’m meant to receive from this sacred process. Help me let go of any old beliefs and feelings that get in the way of Your plan for my life. May I know the good I can do as an embodiment of Divine abundance.”
In other words … Let Go Let God … and take lots of deep, calming breaths.
with deep gratitude - kvk